as elusive as hell. OK, so for some of you,
maybe hell isn't all that elusive, but really... that is beside
the point. And what is the point? The point is we just don't do
Ms. Garbo, "vee vant to be alone. Wiv
all deeze clothes." Sorry.
really... the truth is that Elvis is working here.
And if word ever gets out, we'll be bombarded and, lets face it,
how would we get anything done? Not to mention the fact that Elvis
is our top garment steamer. Besides, news crews that would descend
upon us would mess up our expensive landscaping. We've heard those
people at CNN are notorious for it.
So Elvis doesn't actually work here.
we aren't working, we're line dancing the hustle to therapy sessions.
We've gone through several therapists already this year. They get
sick of us rather quickly. Because we won't sit still. We
insist on dancing the entire session. If we were actually
available for interviews, it would be so shocking and tantalizing
and scintillating, you'd think you won a literary prize before you
even put your pen to paper. We don't need the drama or legions of
adoring fans mobbing us so we can't even buy groceries without being
suspected as thieves. No way. Plus,
we don't want people touching our super tricked out cars and blowing
their horns and cutting us off trying to get us to open the doors,
and make us sing and dance in the middle of the road. The traffic
snarls! Sheesh. Worse than our collective
hair was with those 80's perms. But, for several weeks, we were
the pinnacle of the fashion elite. So, HA! It
was worth cutting the occasional dread out. Because right
after that it was punk glam. Those tight spandex pants had us all
speaking in falsettos. Dear God, I so need a martini.
last time we delved headfirst into the Martini wonderland I had
a blast. We hopped the shuttle and drifted in the atmosphere singing
"Ground control to major Tom..." They would have never
even known we were in there if it wasn't for that catfight we had.
Over who was gonna sing the lead. THAT story
never made the media. And, why? I'll tell ya why, it was
because NASA did not want that black eye. They dumped us off at
the Russian space station. We drank Stoli until we got back to the
planet. We had a damn good time, but nobody can remember a thing.
Except that we had a good time.
IS earth, right?
can't do interviews for this very reason.
truth. We much prefer behind the scenes work making you guys out
there look damn good.
for being so sweet and understanding . . .
ahead and talk about us.
We will neither confirm nor deny whatever you say.
don't mind you critiquing us in the media although outright flattery
is preferred, but... as media mavens know, a scathing article can
also garner site hitting attention. Might even send us into a frenzy
by the resulting onslaught exceeding our bandwidth. Salacious gossip
is bound to keep chins-wagging. We love those juicy tidbits as much
as the next person.
free to write to us and ask us questions and, as long as you don't
expect answers you're likely to get them.
matter how hot the lights are, we won't divulge the list of celebrities
and otherwise well known personalities that have been customers
here. We've taken a vow of silence on that. You can't make us talk.
Ever. We aren't name droppers regarding our shoppers.
website pretty much speaks for itself. Say what you will because
most likely, it's true.
do us a favor and let us know what you've had to say about us, and
where, and we'll hook up a link on the site.
if you're talking smack.
2005 until eternity
from those crazy azz people over there at
when reprinting or referencing any of our articles :::